Fifty Shades of Grey: Choices & Judgment- Get Over It!

The craze has hit, just as I was sure it would! The 50 Shades of Grey movie has been released, and now begins the fight for good and evil, so to speak. As a long term teacher of a 50 Shades of bondage class, that was in fact based off of the books incorrect usage of certain sex toys and opening communities to the art of vanilla bondage, I support any and ALL parts of this movie! ANYTHING that gets couples to reconnect, communicate, and learn more and more about their bodies! ANYTHING to keep the discovery of one’s self, and one’s partner, going strong! Adults in a safe, committed relationship can do whatever they want!

Of course, it’s your choice to see the movie, read the books, live the lifestyle, or only play in the bedroom. Your judgment on any of it, or those who choose to see it/live it, is pointless, and a waste of time!

I’ve read these books more times than I’ll ever admit. Before we developed this class for the Boudoir Noir’s School of Loving Arts over three years ago, I had read the books twice through completely. I refuse to answer how many times I’ve read it now, but can pretty much quote you entire chapters, parts, and all scenes in the red room. I have personal feelings on the book, the style it was written, and even how some of the toys are portrayed… but it’s a book. I liked it enough to engulf myself in it to provide the best class experience, and honestly, I’m not opposed at all to what’s inside.

There are other teachers that teach my heavy, heavy BDSM classes in SOLA, and live the lifestyle 24/7. I have a Dominatrix for one of our teachers, and she is wonderful. She, along with a few others, do not like the books, as they portray the lifestyle in an incorrect way. The dominant and sub relationship is a specific one, and one that is based on knowing your partners needs and limits over ANYTHING else. In 50 Shades, multiple times Ana was tested so much, her limits were pushed too far. In most BDSM relationships, any act of play would have stopped on a dime in that moment when the Dom realized his or her sub was in turmoil. End of story. That doesn’t happen in these books, which is giving BDSM a bad name.

One thing that does not happen in these books is RAPE. This morning, more than any other, we’re seeing so many quotes, parts of the movie, and parts of the book being labeled as “domestic violence” or “rape.” Most of these parts are being taken completely out of context. Pulling one sentence from an entire scene doesn’t work for me. I absolutely disagree with these claims. In all parts of this book, Ana consented. Ana chose to be where she was, doing what she was doing, learning from “the master” Christian Grey about his lifestyle. He repeatedly gives her choices to stop, options to leave, and warns her REPEATEDLY about himself. She leaves him, and COMES BACK FOR MORE!!! And anyway….she did not want the kiss from Jose….so, didn’t he “force her,” then, too?

Now, in the world I live in, if someone gave me all of those chances to leave, and I STILL STAYED…. Crying rape would be a LIE. Flat. Out. Lie. I can’t figure out why so many people are going down this road. I just read a quote this morning that made me spit water out all over the place, due to its truth.

                “If you’re so upset about the “abuse” in 50 Shades of Grey…. Why weren’t you as concerned with the murdering of children in the Hunger Games? It’s a book.” –pulled from the FiftyShadesofGrey twitter account

Completely agree. The mere fact that the “haters”/female rights activists are wasting their time posting, protesting, and carrying on all crazy about a book is beyond me. You all do realize you’re just helping drive sales? And you realize your, “I never read them, but I can’t believe this domestic violence!” just sort of shows your lack of knowledge on the subject? Why not protest and fight for something like all of the missing young girls taken and not returned by terrorist overseas?

QUIT with the judgment! Realize that some people live this life, LOVE this life, and LOVE being beaten, spanked, flogged, whipped, tied up, tied down, tied open, tied closed, roped, gagged, bitten, marked, maimed, caned, wheeled, shocked, stabbed with needles….and believe it or not, some people REALLY, REALLY love being dominated!! Others LOVE bowing down to be the submissive!!

Now, if you really wanted to read about abuse and rape, try out my first book, Phoenix Rising. That pretty much covers not having a choice in the matter…