Justice for Nancy: Gardening, Giggles & Updates
It’s been a while since there’s been an update, so I thought I’d share a pic of some flowers we took to Grandma just the other day from our garden.
As many of you know, she LOVED gardening. (And watering…) More recently, loved spending time in the garden we helped her create for her Herbie. She has her favorite flowers, like the Mandevilla and Hibiscus, and although she could never grow one at all, lilacs. While her sight never came back after he took it from her, her other senses do have tiny moments of sheer and real clarity. Announcing ourselves, and after getting squeezes by her favorites, she immediately smelled the lilac scent in the air from across the room. This tripped good memories of gardening, of Herbie, and of her love of flowers. This visit was a good one, topped off when my husband managed to find her exact cravings at that moment….and she scarfed it down. Watching her devour the push-up was very humorous, and made more of those memories for the kids. She bartered with the kids for back rubs, promising to paint the girls fingernails for them, or tattoo Mr. Mustachio’s face by his new whiskers… (Guess you had to be there…)
That said, the days swing from good to bad. This morning she wouldn’t even wake up to visit, and times like this we need to respect, and let her rest. Her body has got so much going on, much of which is unfixable, that she needs all that rest. Conversation triggers that upset her are unnecessary, and those who cause them on purpose are terrible. She has been more than clear of her wishes, although some still can’t seem to digest her wants. To those people, I wish you could understand that it’s not all about you. It never has been, and it never will be. She has paranoia, and moments of heavy anxiety. Her emotions bounce around quickly. It is very easy to refocus her on other topics, and subjects….especially if you want to talk about church, politics, or gardening.
In the moments where she’s lost in her world, some of her children are small again, about two years old. Sometimes she’s waiting for Herb to bring the car around, or forgets that Hugh is now safely and painlessly up with Herbie. Sometimes she’s working hard at church, building new additions and rooms for worship. Sometimes she’s really, really hungry…and gives you a 46 page grocery list, so she has food on hand, “for her guests.” Or she’ll make you make her secret meatloaf recipe… and then scold you when you’re not doing it right. Sometimes we can’t help but giggle at a bad word when one slips by. Or hearing she was “so mad at Kathy,” and when asked why, responded with, “Because I love her so much.” I wish I would’ve taken a video of her hearing that her son and his girls were coming back to the states to see her. I wish everyone could’ve feel her emotion when she really feels the love around her, and how quickly it shifts with any negative thoughts, or negative vibes anyone may be harboring. Sometimes she gets mad if she thinks that you’re not talking or responding enough. Sometimes she realizes she’s “dreaming” and you don’t even have to tell her…. And it’s watching her realize it was only a dream that rips apart your heart… Over and over again…
This week begins some of the court proceedings, as we go back to court for a pretrial things next week. Pretrial happenings are closed to immediate family only. Jury trial is scheduled for July 2014, and anyone is welcome to attend. If this goes to trial, we will rally our support troops to fill the court room with those seeking JUSTICE FOR NANCY!!!!!!! #JusticeforNancy
