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Fat, Skinny. Fat, Skinny: Body Shaming Blows
Jackass: “HEY Skye! It’s been a long time! You look GREAT! Whoa, lotta chocolate there in your cart. Not sure that’s healthy.”
Me: (Raises eyebrow, looks at cart full of business bulk items.) “Hey!” (Sarcastic and weak) “Yeah, well I run a food business now, so I tend to buy items in bulk like this.”
Jackass: “Oh right.” (Winks, like I am kidding) “I wish I could eat that much chocolate and still be skinny like you are.”
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Me: (Orders food at restaurant for family to take home while out with friends.) ((Two boxes, and one bag delivered to go, plus my cup of soup.)) (((Thanks the waitress.)))
Jackass #1: “Holy shit! Look at the skinny girl! The most food at the taaaaa-blleee! Piles and piles of food! Where do you think she puts it all?!” (The entire table bursts out in laughter, because, hilarious.)
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Unknowing Person: “Wow, you look so good! So tiny!”
Me: ((unsure of reaction to have. Truthful? I’m dying, but you don’t want to hear that. Again, thin and malnourished seems to signify “health” in our world. Awkward. So, I smile, and hope you didn’t know better.) ‘Thanks.”
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Elderly Customer: “Well my Lord, taking whatever this gluten is out of your food must’ve given you SCURVY! Why is skinny the new healthy to all you young kids?” (Shakes head, disgruntled; walks away.)
(Palm to forehead. Never claimed to be healthy; far, far from it. And while I laughed at the scurvy, for real… I mean, other than working, I don’t even exercise. I can’t. Again, another person who sees thin, and thinks that means healthy.)
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Stock Online Image on Pinterest
Stock Online, Pinterest
In a world where weight and appearance take precedence over everything, how am I supposed to deliver MORE bad news about myself to people, friends, family, and strangers? About my shrinking self? Funny thing is, I am NOT “skinny” as so many joke, and make jokes about. I am malnourished, and my body is wasting away, thanks to uncontrollable chronic illnesses and diseases. It’s a topic that I am extremely sensitive to, because I would rather have boobs and an ass than bones protruding from every corner of myself. But that’s all that people focus on; how thin a person is. If they have a thigh gap. How big that thigh gap is. If they have designer clothes. If they wear brand name makeup. If they have an eating disorder. If they have visible body alterations. But those collar bones? If those stick out defining your bone shape, this means you are healthy. Those dark bags under my eyes? That signifies endless energy. That paleness on my skin? That signifies vampire-like ability. Okay, kidding on that one, but I think you see where I am going. It’s gotten so bad in recent months, I’ve actually used the words, “You know you’re body shaming a terminally ill person, right?”
If I were to point out how fat someone was, I would be a rude bitch. If I made someone’s largeness the topic of conversation like people do with my smallness, I would be slathered all over social media within the same hour. “Hey Lady! Haven’t seen you in years! That’s a shit ton of mountain dew you’ve got there in your cart for later! Do you think that’s why you’ve grown?” Nope, doesn’t fly. It actually hurt me to type.
Or if I were out with those friends at dinner, watching them devour their appetizers and “healthy” giantess salads, pummeling the alcoholic drinks down by the double-fist full. “Wow, really packing that away, aren’t you, biggy?” Oyyy.
And as for the last, I don’t comment about your appearance when we meet up. I don’t care how fat, tall, round, thin, bumpy, scar-ry, lanky, obtuse, octagonal, triangular, yellow, pink, brown, turquoise or magenta you might be. But I do care if you’re an asshole. When the first thing out of your mouth is a comment on my appearance, I doubt we’ll be chatting long. If I changed what I said just enough: “Wow, you look so good! So big & fat!” I would be able to see your anger and rage boil over. The first thing you do is bash me to your friends, and skinny shame me more. No, no one should be pointing out your flaws and laughing at them. Or mocking serious health issues that make us gain, or lose, weight uncontrollably. So, why is it okay to single me out because I’m malnourished? Why does it matter to our relationship that you continually comment on my size?
Just because a human is thin does not mean they are healthy! Just because a human carries extra weight doesn’t mean they are unhealthy! Stop it, dammit!
If you’re one of these people who cannot help commenting on another’s appearance or size, maybe approach it in a more human way: not at ALL because it’s not about YOU! For instance, I am less likely to throat punch you if you say, “Hey Woman! It’s been years! How’s life treating you?” Or, “I read about all your chaos on social media. It’s so empowering how you push on through the hardest times of your life and grow businesses and children.” Ask about my kids. Ask about my business. Ask about my books. Recipes. Medications. Talk about the recent CBD oil regulations. But Jesus, could you stop pointing out the very things that will most likely kill me?
The grass isn’t always greener, you know. All humans have feelings. All humans of all sizes have feelings. Issues. Wants. Needs. Desires. And things that make their skin crawl. Skinny shaming has become one of those things to me, and I wish I never had to deal with it again. But, because my illnesses are progressive, and through last year I lost twenty pounds because of it, I fear that this will be something I deal with until my last days. Because people.
But I know, society. Where do I get off complaining about skinny shaming? I mean, I’m skinny, so I’m healthy right? What’s there to worry about?
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“Real women have curves.” Shit! Are there fake women?!
“Men only like women with meat on their bones!” Well, lucky for me men don’t determine my worth.
“She looks so unhealthy.” Oh yeah? Do you know her? Her personal life? Or are you a detective, and assigned to her case? I wish I had so much time…
It’s misogyny. Attacking another woman’s body for no real reason. That’s not concern. That’s being a wench.
*Images used found on Pinterest.
